as i walk away i think of my history...i actually won the class '' A " finals while having an asthma attack...and i only poisoned three people to do it...i only ever had one
''behaviour warning '' during my three and a half years on the circuit...and that was because my head was so fucked up on steroids - asthma -that i could hardly see the frigging ball...and as for my doubles partner , greg sullivan...he would tragically die on a " head on '' just days after i "hunted him down'' and told him how much he meant to me...
...yea...i gave greg my stuffed animal collection once...i heard a rumour that he fired them to the moon .
see you soon , greg
Friday, March 31, 2017
chapter 91
...so there i am...walking by a tennis court in the autumn of 2017...i had just played my " comeback tournament '' and had lost in the second round .
i got a great excuse...i have a disease that could actually make me hallucinate to the point that a tennis ball would look like a giant grasshopper...and that was one of the nice symptoms .
ANYWAY...there i am and this man in his mid forties comes up to me and says...'' are you stu strang ???
i stop picking my bum and reply...'' i am not sure any more...but go ahead " .
he tells me of how i rescued him from four bullies back in the eighties...he said that all his life he wanted to thank me .
...i smile and shook his hand .
i got a great excuse...i have a disease that could actually make me hallucinate to the point that a tennis ball would look like a giant grasshopper...and that was one of the nice symptoms .
ANYWAY...there i am and this man in his mid forties comes up to me and says...'' are you stu strang ???
i stop picking my bum and reply...'' i am not sure any more...but go ahead " .
he tells me of how i rescued him from four bullies back in the eighties...he said that all his life he wanted to thank me .
...i smile and shook his hand .
chapter 90
after beating dennis 7-5 in the third set...i went on to win the cape breton class " A " with relative ease .
...i then proceeded to hit a ball into the sky which , against all odds...struck and murdered an italian bald eagle...
...i walked off the court and was handed a letter half way to the podium .
...it was my girlfriend and i won't tell you what she said...but i will tell you that it should not be repeated .
by the time i got to the troll... ( trophy person )...and i mean that with all the respect to the troll kingdom...( trolls are actually sweet little loving creatures ) ...tears were streaming down my ass...and i would never see her hard-hearted , snarky , cute little face again .
...i then proceeded to hit a ball into the sky which , against all odds...struck and murdered an italian bald eagle...
...i walked off the court and was handed a letter half way to the podium .
...it was my girlfriend and i won't tell you what she said...but i will tell you that it should not be repeated .
by the time i got to the troll... ( trophy person )...and i mean that with all the respect to the troll kingdom...( trolls are actually sweet little loving creatures ) ...tears were streaming down my ass...and i would never see her hard-hearted , snarky , cute little face again .
chapter 89
now that i am almost finished this story , i can't help but think that this may mean nothing to you...that is to say...maybe you are jimmy connors...( the real greatest of all time )...and you think my fucking accomplishments are insanely boring...that you could have pulled them out of your ass...and killed an endangered species with them .
...maybe a whole lot of things...but this one will charm the crap out of you :
...maybe a whole lot of things...but this one will charm the crap out of you :
chapter 88
so...me and my arrow...( and if you get that reference , you are either very fucking old...or a musicologist )...are driving to cape breton so i can try my luck with '' the boys in the band '' .
...i grab a news paper to see who was in the main draw , tape it to the windshield , climb onto the hood...open up a 40 ''ouncer'' of rum...and let my fingers do the walking through the hallucinogenic ink...
...and there was his name before me...set to play me , if all things remain equal , in the semi-finals...dennis lablanc...disputably , the number one class "A " player of all time .
suddenly the universe doesn't seem so friendly .
...i grab a news paper to see who was in the main draw , tape it to the windshield , climb onto the hood...open up a 40 ''ouncer'' of rum...and let my fingers do the walking through the hallucinogenic ink...
...and there was his name before me...set to play me , if all things remain equal , in the semi-finals...dennis lablanc...disputably , the number one class "A " player of all time .
suddenly the universe doesn't seem so friendly .
chapter 87
do you know what i really love about life ??? lesbians !!! i can't get enough of them...spaniels and lesbians are god's best ideas .
and as for those fundamentalists who believe that being a lesbian is a ''sin''...well , the only reason you really believe that is so i can have a good laugh at you .
not that i wish i were a lesbian...and not that i wish that i were not , either...it is not about that...and it is not about a whole lot of things...
...what is it about ??? i will tell you...it is about : SMILE , AND HAVE A LESBIAN KINDA DAY !!!
and as for those fundamentalists who believe that being a lesbian is a ''sin''...well , the only reason you really believe that is so i can have a good laugh at you .
not that i wish i were a lesbian...and not that i wish that i were not , either...it is not about that...and it is not about a whole lot of things...
...what is it about ??? i will tell you...it is about : SMILE , AND HAVE A LESBIAN KINDA DAY !!!
Thursday, March 30, 2017
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